Time

I need to talk to Einstein, or whoever happens to be the current expert on time. I'm pretty sure something's messed up in the grand scheme of things. Time appears to be speeding up. I think we should get our experts together and figure out a way slow it back down before it's too late.


When I was a kid, years were substantial things. Like a giant bridge that stretched out over the ocean. At its start in January it was impossible to see or even comprehend the other end. By October or November there was a vague sense that the journey across was nearing completion. Even so, those last months remained steady and true, refusing to rush to the finish. Now, it feels like the bridge is across a little creek and we're sprinting to the other side. Years just aren't what they used to be.


Once we get the experts together, I think they should also consider the "summer effect". While I have observed that time is speeding up in general, it seems to be even worse during the summer. They tell me this past summer was three months long but it felt more like three weeks to me. Definitely something they should look into.


So, experts, you have your work cut out for you. I'd appreciate it if you'd get this straightened out at your earliest convenience, preferably before December. I sense that I am already woefully late with my Christmas shopping.

Pets

We have three cats living in our house. I would like to say that the three cats are our pets but I think it is more accurate to just state that we have cats that live in our house. They aren't real loving animals, not the sorts of cats that climb into your lap and contently purr or fall asleep. Ours mostly wander around the house, only making themselves noticed when they want something. Occasionally the fat one will climb onto my lap - I suppose she considers me a kindred spirit. But when she is on my lap she remains somewhat tense, constantly clinching my legs with her claws. I've termed the experience "catupuncture" and I don't think it has any redeeming qualities. The cats don't seem to like us very much. I don't take this personally because they don't appear to like each other either. For the most part, each cat flies solo and invisible, like a furry little ninja.

There are occasions when all three cats suddenly appear in the same room with us. This always makes me a little uncomfortable. It's like the little ninjas have finally decided to attack. Or worse yet, I fear they've come to stage an intervention. I would hate that, having to listen to the cats take turns sharing how insensitive I am to their needs.

When the cats are all together, it really hits home that we have three cats. That's a lot of cats. We are at the limit of allowed mammal pets per a city ordinance. It makes me feel like we're on the verge of having an animal hoarding problem. But it only feels that way when all the cats are together and that doesn't happen often. Mostly, the house feels fairly animal-less. In fact, I think we could easily accommodate another pet. If I understand the city code, it would have to be a reptile.

My Right Ear

I wish I were more symmetrical. To be more precise, I wish my right ear were more like my left ear. While I'm wishing, I also wish my ears were level with respect to my nose. Now that I regularly wear reading glasses, I've noticed that the metal frames get bent out of shape as I try to get them to rest evenly on my ears and still appear level on my face. The plastic frames eventually just break.

But, back to my right ear. There's something not so right about it. When I go running, I wear earphones with little clips that fit over my ears to hold them in place (the earphones, not my ears). These were a recent addition, necessitated by the fact that ear buds don't stay in my right ear. Even with the clips the right bud pops out and hovers just next to my ear. The left ear is fine and never gives me trouble.

It's odd that if I just put a pair of earphones on they feel fine and both sides seem stable. It's only when I run that the right side works itself out. Perhaps it's not my ear at all - perhaps I am somehow contorting my face or jaw and pushing the ear bud out. It would not be the first time I was doing something weird with my face and not realizing it.