Haunted

I know it's unlikely but on the off chance that Barry Manilow reads this blog, I'd like to send him a message: "Barry, if you're feeling a little off your game, if you feel like you're just going through the motions, if life has lost its meaning, I think I know why. You see, Barry, you've lost your soul. I know this because it's currently residing in my 2002 Honda Accord."

I don't know how it happened. I bought the car used and I suppose there is a very remote chance that you once rode it in. I doubt it, but I can't confirm for a fact that you've never been in my car. More likely, the haunting is due to an unfortunate incident involving the CD player and one of your Greatest Hits collections.

I know your soul is in the car because it tries to possess me while I drive. It's always the same - I can't even back out of the driveway before that song starts running through my head. I never think about that song except when I'm in the car - and then it is ever present, insisting on my participation. Before I know it, I'm humming or singing out loud. I write the songs that..Stop! Please!..make the young girls cry...Oh Lord, no!..music makes you dance... Luckily, I'm usually alone - even so, I feel embarrassed. When I'm not alone, I've learned to be extra vigilant in my vocal suppression. I'll admit there have been a couple of times when I've let a few bars slip out in the presence of others. Fortunately, I was able to cover it up with a feigned coughing fit. Sad that my singing sounds so similar to a coughing fit but handy in this one instance.

So, Barry, I hope that one day soon your soul will leave my automobile and return to its proper place. If not, I may need to damage another CD with the player and see if I can invite a different soul to come and push you out. I'm thinking John Denver could do it.