I think I know too much about squirrels. That's not to say that I know a lot about squirrels - I just know more than I'd prefer to. A couple of weeks ago I was out walking and I happened upon a squirrel that did not run away from me as I approached it. The whole incident unnerved me as the squirrel was not exhibiting what I considered normal squirrel-like behavior.
Anyway, because of this, I had squirrels on my mind. Often, when something's on my mind, I enter the topic into my search engine and see what comes up. And so, I learned about squirrels. And I really wish I hadn't. I've looked up plenty of other topics like global warming, buckypaper, bailout plan, big bounce theory. Each of these and others like them gave me little tidbits that I could store away for those moments when a conversation needs a quick boost. Plus, I felt the topics reflected well on me - giving the impression of someone who is smart, informed, interesting.
But squirrels? I can tell you from first-hand experience that if you happen to be chatting with someone and you sense a lull in the conversation, it will not help to offer, "So, did you know squirrels can't digest cellulose?" Uncomfortable silence. In their eyes I can read what they're thinking, "Why does he know that?" At this point, the smart person would drop the whole squirrel topic. The person who knows too much about squirrels may feel compelled to add, "And if you feed a squirrel nothing but raw peanuts it will suffer from severe malnutrition." Now you've completely creeped-out the person you were talking to. In their eyes you're some wacko with a squirrel fixation.
And so, I need to purge Family Sciuridae from my brain
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