The Saga of Rod and Debbie - Dinner

Rod looked at his watch.   Six o'clock.   He wasn't supposed to meet Debbie at the restaurant until seven thirty.   Initially, Rod was happy that Debbie had accepted his invitation to come for a visit.   But in the weeks that followed, he began to have second thoughts.   Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.   Why was it that Debbie was still available after all these years?   The Debbie he remembered was slender and kind of cute.   He sure hoped she hadn't "let herself go".   Oh well, he reasoned, it's just dinner.   Actually, this might be a good thing.   He could use the dinner to check her out.   If she was too high on the frumpy scale the Rodster would have to cut her loose.

Rod had never heard of the restaurant they were meeting at, Debbie had suggested it.   He found it a little strange that she knew more about Phoenix's fine dining than he did, but he figured she must have looked it up on the internet.   Even though she hadn't told him where she was staying, Rod assumed it was near the restaurant.   He was torn as to whether he should get there early or late.   If he was late, he could check her out from the entrance and maybe skip dinner altogether.   On the other hand, if he was early, he could tuck himself next to the table and try to hide some of his extra weight.   He opted for early.

This could be a special night, and Rod knew he needed to dress for the occasion.   He pulled on his good jeans and chose his prized, long sleeved, black Van Halen tee shirt.   He stood in front of his bathroom mirror and admired himself for a few moments.

"The Rodster, locked and loaded."   He said to himself as he winked at his reflection.

Rod splashed a little cologne on his face and left for the restaurant.



Debbie and Donna spent the day sitting in a conference room of their hotel listening to Madge, the company's marketing specialist pitch their new designs to a group of potential clients.   Debbie had forgotten how much she disliked this part of the fashion industry.   She would much rather immerse herself in the creative side of the business and forget all this nonsense.   Madge, on the other hand, seemed to genuinely love this part of the process.   Madge was also excited that two of the company's most established designers had decided to join her on the southwest tour.   She felt it demonstrated the amount of clout she had with the company.

It was five o'clock and the meeting was just wrapping up.   Debbie could hear Madge discussing the possibility of doing dinner with one of the clients.   Debbie and Donna quietly slipped out of the room and ducked into an elevator.   They felt bad giving Madge the slip but they knew Madge would soon be so preoccupied with the client that she would completely forget about them.   Once, they felt the coast was clear they made their way back to their room.   Madge's room was next door but they couldn't tell if she was in there.

"Be quiet, just in case Madge is in there."   whispered Debbie.

Donna carefully unlocked the door and the two slipped inside the room.   Debbie held on to the door as it closed so that it wouldn't make any noise.   Once inside, Donna sprawled on a bed and stared up at the ceiling.

"So, what are you going to wear for the big date?"   Donna asked, playfully.

Debbie rolled her eyes.   "Well," she said, "I thought I'd keep it simple, maybe my black dress, some pearls."

Donna leaned up and looked at her.   "The poor guy's not going to have a chance, is he?"

Debbie smiled bashfully.   "Well, I have to wear something."

Working in fashion had taught Debbie one important lesson regarding women's clothing.   It was designed to look best on fashion models.   Debbie exercised regularly and could easily have been mistaken for one of the models at most shows.   She had never considered herself beautiful but she was the only one.   It was Donna who had made her aware of the number of gentlemen looking her way when they were out.   For so many years, she'd been blind to such things, preoccupied with that blasted CD.

"Do you want to borrow my watch?" Donna joked.   She knew she shouldn't have said it, but she just couldn't help it.

Debbie felt a wave of panic briefly wash over her at the thought.   "Very funny" she said wryly as she slipped into the bathroom to change.




As the hostess led her to her table, Debbie was aware of the glances.   A pair of thirty-somethings sitting at the bar stopped their conversation and looked her way.   Each had on a fine, tailored gray suit and Debbie guessed that they were probably also in Phoenix on business.   Debbie gave them a shy smile as she passed.   She was scanning the tables, trying to spot Rod.   The hostess said he had already arrived.

As the hostess veered toward a particular table, Debbie took a second look at the man sitting by it.   She had glanced past him earlier, but now she realized that this was Rod.   He kind of looked like the old Rod, but kind of not.   It was like someone had hooked him to a tire pump and inflated him to twice his intended size.   He looked squishy.   The old Rod never looked squishy.   And there was something just not right about his hair.   She couldn't put her finger on it, but it definitely had an unnatural look to it.

Rod had arrived at the restaurant fifteen minutes early.   He'd chosen a seat at the table such that he could watch people arrive.   Rod was aware that he was the only man in the place that was not wearing a suit.   He was not particularly troubled by this fact, figuring the others were just being pretentious.   They all wish they were dressed like me, he thought.   Rod was busy checking out a hot chick walking through the restaurant when he realized that the hostess was leading her to him!   Debbie was a babe!   Some men might have felt awkward or self-conscious in this situation, not Rod.   Rod was pleased.   He could already sense that Debbie might be just the girl for him.

Debbie set her purse on the table and sat down.   She wasn't sure what to say first.   Inside, she was thinking about what Donna had said to her - that door is closed, lock it and move on.   How she wished she would have listened!   There was nothing about the man across the table that she found attractive.   Rod was smiling from ear to ear with his tongue sticking out just a little, like a big fat german shepherd.   He spoke first.

"Hey hey, Debbie" he said.   "You look awesome!   When did you turn into such a babe?"

Debbie winced a little.   "Thanks Rod, you've changed a bit yourself."

Rod laughed.   "You got that right!"   He couldn't think of anything more to say, so he just handed her a menu.   "Here, have a gander at the food.   And don't be shy, get whatever you want, it's on me."

Debbie took the menu.   The exchanged had stirred up the air a little bit and Debbie was hit by a bit of the stench coming off Rod.   Debbie coughed.   Unfortunately, this made her inhale more deeply and she got a full serving of Eau De Rod.   To this, she gagged and quickly covered her mouth and nose with her napkin.   Rod, sensing her distress, was leaning over to see what was wrong.   This only intensified the odor and now Debbie could feel her eyes burning.

"Please Rod" Debbie said, coughing through the napkin.   "Try not to move."

Rod looked dumbfounded.   "Um, okay Debbie.   Ah, what's going on?"

Debbie pushed her chair back and began to stand.   "Rod," she said, "This was a mistake.   You and I have changed too much.   I'm sorry but I need to leave."

Rod realized what was going on.   Debbie was going to dump him right there, before they'd eaten or anything.   He needed her to stay.   People were looking.   He was not going to be walked out on in public.   Rod grabbed Debbie's purse and held it away from her under the table.

"Rod, what are you doing?" Debbie asked.

"Debbie," Rod pleaded.   "At least stay through dinner.   You've got to eat."

Debbie felt on the verge of vomiting.   She knew there was no way she could possibly eat a meal with Rod.   She needed to get out of the restaurant and into some fresh air.   She was growing angry with Rod for acting so childish.

"Rod," Debbie was standing next to him now.   "Give me my purse."

Rod was just about to tell her she could have her purse after dinner when he noticed two men coming over from the bar.   Fine, if she needed to go so badly, she could.   He knew he'd be seeing her again.

"Here, take your purse and leave."   Rod said grudgingly.   "I guess you worked so hard on your body you let your manners go to pot."

Debbie grabbed the purse.   "Rod," she said, trying to explain.   "You smell like a dead raccoon!"

As Debbie walked away, Rod lifted his arm and sniffed his sleeve.   Hmmm, intense purple, he knew that odor.

"It's just Old Spice!"   he shouted after her.

Rod sat at the table and contemplated whether he should leave or go ahead and order dinner.   The men at the bar were staring at him and he decided he'd rather dine elsewhere.   Debbie thinks she's so sophisticated and everything, he thought.   Rod knew she wasn't as smart as she thought.   After all, he hadn't touched a raccoon in weeks.