The Saga of Rod and Debbie - Final Entry

Debbie returned to the room to find Donna eating a hamburger from room service.   Debbie sat down next to her and grabbed a french fry.   Donna glanced at the nightstand clock and then looked at Debbie.

"I take it it did not go well" Donna said matter of factly.

Debbie began recounting the date.   The clothes, the weight, the hair and most importantly, the stench.   Listening to herself, Debbie realized how absurd the whole encountered sounded.   Gradually, she started to giggle as she described each facet in excruciating detail.   Donna was grateful that Debbie found it humorous for she was fighting back laughing herself - trying to be a supportive friend.   Now, both women shared a laugh at Rod's expense.   Donna cut her burger in half and gave part to Debbie.   Debbie was grateful that Donna had come to Phoenix with her.   She couldn't wait to get home though.   She was glad that Phoenix was the last stop on the tour.   They would be flying home tomorrow.

They thought about slipping down to the hotel bar for a nightcap but decided against it.   Debbie was somewhat concerned that Rod may still be lurking around downtown Phoenix.   Besides, it had been a draining day and she really just wanted to sleep.   Donna was in total agreement.   She was a little worried that Madge might be down at the bar schmoozing with her dinner dates.   Donna wanted no part of that.   So, even though it was only ten o'clock, they called it a night.

"Debbie" the voice drifted into Debbie's consciousness.

Debbie drifted back into dreamland, but this time the voice was louder, more urgent.   "Debbie!"

Debbie awoke with a start.   Donna was sitting up in her bed calling to her and there was a strange tune playing.   Debbie looked at Donna.

"What's that sound?"   Debbie whispered.

"I figured it was you cell phone" Donna answered.   "I know it's sure not my ring tone."

Debbie listened.   It wasn't her ring tone either.   But it did sound vaguely familiar.   Then she realized why she knew the tune.

"Oh, crap." Debbie said as she got up and followed the sound.  

She had a pretty good idea where the sound was coming from and her fears were confirmed.   She opened her purse and the ring tone became noticeably louder.   Debbie picked an unfamiliar cellphone out of her purse and sniffed it.   It was definitely Rod's.   She felt the old uneasiness creeping back into her life.   The phone had finally stopped ringing.   Debbie sat down on the edge of her bed, her hands were shaking.   Donna came over and sat next to her and put an arm around her.

"Easy now girl," Donna whispered.   "Don't let it rattle you."

Debbie swallowed hard, wiped her eyes and nodded.   She was not going to let Rod use this against her.   She was staring at the cellphone, wondering how he had managed to slip it into her purse, when it rang again.   She jumped a little.   Donna reached for the phone but Debbie pulled away and answered.   She knew who was calling.

"Hello, Rod." Debbie said flatly.

"Why, Debbie?"   Rod was trying unsuccessfully to sound surprised.   "What are you doing with my cellphone?"

"Very funny Rod," Debbie said crossly.   "Why did you put your phone in my purse?"

"I thought you might want to borrow it." Rod said chuckling.  

"You're such a jerk, Rod.   I should just throw this in the trash." Debbie threatened.

"We both know you won't do that, Debbie" Rod laughed.   He enjoyed being in control.   "Why don't you tell me where you're staying and I'll stop by and pick it up?"

Donna had been leaning in next to Debbie, listening to the conversation.   She looked at Debbie and shook her head.   Debbie nodded.   Donna got up and turned on her laptop.

"How about I just leave it at the front desk when I check out tomorrow and you can stop by and pick it up?"   Debbie suggested.

"Sure, just tell me what hotel you're at." Rod said.

"I'll tell you in the morning." Debbie offered.

"I'll be out cleaning the highways in the morning.   You might as well just tell me now." Rod persisted.

Donna caught Debbie's eye.   She had been studying maps of Phoenix.   "Tell him you'll drop it off at his work.   It looks like the highway maintenance building is sort of on our way to the airport."

Debbie suggested this to Rod.   Rod had really wanted to come to her hotel room, but the thought of showing off his hot girlfriend to his co-workers was appealing.

"Sounds good." Rod said finally.   "What time will you be there?"

"Around two." Debbie said, lying.

Debbie hung up the phone and turned it off.   She went back to bed but she didn't sleep.   She just laid there and sweated.   By morning she was a bit of a mess but she got ready while Donna was still asleep.   She felt a little sorry for the maid service that was going to have deal with her sopping sheets, but there was really little she could do about it now.   When Donna awoke, Debbie was packed and ready to leave.

"You know, our flight's not 'til one" Donna said as she sat up.

"I know" said Debbie.   "I just want to get rid of this thing as soon as I can."

"Pretty smooth, telling Stinky two.   Do you think he fell for it?"   Donna asked.

"Probably not" Debbie admitted.   She had always been terrible at lying.

"Well, I'll get ready and you wake Madge" Donna suggested as she walked toward the bathroom.

After a few rounds of knocking, Madge finally answered the door.   She made no attempt to hide the fact that Debbie had awakened her.   Madge had been up very late partying with clients and then with anyone else who happened to be around.   Her eyes were bleary and she looked like she might fall asleep at any moment.   She squinted at Debbie as she leaned against the door.

"Debbie, what is it?"   Madge whispered in a hoarse voice.

"Madge," Debbie began, "I need to run an errand on the way to the airport.   I was hoping we might get an early start so I'll have time."

Madge contemplated this.   Or perhaps she just dozed off for a moment.   She shook herself slightly to wake up a little and looked at Debbie.

"I really don't feel so hot." Madge said.   "I think I need more sleep."

"You can sleep on the plane." Debbie offered cautiously.

Madge thought a little more.   "I'll tell you what" she said.   "How about I just take a cab and meet you at the airport.   You and Donna can return the rental car."

Debbie liked this solution.   She wouldn't have to wait for Madge plus she wouldn't have to explain the cell phone and Rod.   Madge gave Debbie the rental car keys and shut the door.   Debbie went back to her room.   Donna was just zipping her suitcase.

"Madge is going to come later, by cab." Debbie told her, showing her the car keys.

"Perfect," Donna replied, taking the keys.   "But I'm taking these.   You are in no shape to drive."

Debbie felt like she was handling the cell phone thing pretty well.   Apparently, Donna could notice a difference in her.   Then she remembered the wet sheets.   Donna had probably noticed them.

They checked out, loaded the car and started on their way.   It was ten o'clock, well before the time Debbie had told Rod.   Hopefully, he would be away when they dropped off the phone.   Donna had studied the maps and had an uncanny sense of direction.   She effortlessly guided them out of downtown and onto a highway heading for Rod's work.

Rod had gotten the sense that Debbie was not being entirely truthful when she told him she would drop the phone off at two o'clock.   He'd checked the airport website and found that there was only one flight leaving for Minneapolis today.   It was scheduled for one o'clock.   Rod smiled.   Given the time it would take to drive from his work to the airport and the time for check-in, it was more likely she would be coming before lunch.   When he got to work, Rod let everyone know that his girlfriend was going to be stopping by.   He asked the dispatcher to notify him if she arrived while he was out.   Rod then set about clearing his schedule.   In other words, he began picking up carcasses as quickly as he could.

Debbie was lost in her own thoughts as she rode in the car.   It was a good thing that Donna was driving.   She wished she hadn't met Rod again.   Her old memories of him were preferable to what she had now.   Donna interrupted her thoughts.

"Looks like a job for ol' Stinky" Donna chuckled, nodding at out the windshield.

Debbie looked.   There was some sort of mound by the shoulder.   Some poor creature that didn't quite make it across in time.   Debbie fixed her gaze on it.   As they passed, Debbie determined it was, indeed, a raccoon.   Both she and Donna found that a little funny given the events of last night.   Then Debbie had another thought.

Rod had cleared the last of the outstanding roadkill (actually, none of them was standing).   He was hurrying back toward his work building when the radio came on.   At first, he thought perhaps the dispatcher was calling him to say that Debbie was there.   He gunned the engine.  

The dispatch began "We have report of a critter.."

"Oh no," thought Rod, "I'll never get back."

As the dispatch continued, Rod realized the critter was between him and his work building anyway.   At least it's on the way, he thought.   About two minutes later, he noticed something on the road ahead.   Over the years, Rod had gotten very good at identifying squashed critters from quite a distance.   He could tell this one was a raccoon even though he was at least a quarter mile away.   He was reminded of Debbie's hurtful comment at the restaurant.   Oh well, he'd see her again, get his phone, give her a chance to apologize.   He laughed to himself as he thought about how weird she was about borrowing stuff.   He'd always found it annoying when they were going together but now it was working to his advantage.

Rod pulled up to the raccoon and jumped out of the truck.   He quickly grabbed a shovel moved towards the carcass.   He would have ran, but his unnaturally low pants made that impossible.   His stride was greatly reduced.   Still, he hurried to the critter in quick, short steps.

As Rod leaned down to scoop up the raccoon he heard a sound.   He froze and listened for a few seconds.   He knew that tune.   It was the "I Go Ape" ring tone he'd recently downloaded to his cell phone.   He stood up and turned around, expecting to see Debbie with his phone.   She was not there.   He scanned the area.   He was in a pretty open, flat section.   Just a little brush.   Nowhere for anyone to hide.   Yet, he could hear the tune.   Rod listened intently, trying to locate the source of the sound.   Eventually, his gaze rested on the raccoon.

Rod poked at the raccoon with his shovel.   His cell phone slid out from under a flap of partially detached fur.   Rod picked it up, shook some goo from it, and answered it.

"Hello?"   Rod said, still somewhat confused.

Debbie's voice came through the phone, "Hi Rod, I'm glad you got your phone back.   Goodbye."

Debbie hung up before Rod could say anything more.   Rod stood there, looking down for about thirty seconds.   His gaze alternated between the phone and the raccoon, as if he was still trying to figure out how the two had found each other.   Finally, Rod looked up, wiped his phone on his pant leg and shoved it in his pocket.   Then he scooped up the raccon and tossed it in the truck.

Rod reasoned that it was probably for the best.   After all, he doubted he could be in a long term relationship with a woman who didn't like the smell of Old Spice.