Clone Wars

They remodeled our local YMCA a couple of years ago.   Before the remodel, the exercise room was pretty small.   There were a limited number of treadmills and other machines.   Because of this, you had to sign up for a machine on a whiteboard.   You could only sign up for thirty minutes at a time.

Now, the sign-up board started with the five-thirty slot but the Y opened at five.   So, if you got there right when it opened, you could reserve a machine for five-thirty but start using it at five - a little loophole to get around the thirty minute maximum.   This was actually pretty common practice.   We'd all stumble into the Y at five, stop at the board and claim a machine, and then put our stuff in a locker and come back and work out.   It was also common practice that if you saw that a machine was reserved at five-thirty, you stayed off it if it happened to be unoccupied when you entered the room.   The person who reserved it was somewhere in the building and would likely be showing up soon.

Well, one morning I entered the room a little after five and signed up for my favorite treadmill, number five.   I then went to the other end of the room to stretch a little - a perfectly sensible thing to do, really.   I only spent maybe five or ten minutes stretching but when I turned back toward treadmill number five, there was this guy using it.   There he was with his goofy sweatshirt, loping along like an idiot.

Man, was I mad.   I knew I had no legal claim to the treadmill - not until five-thirty.   Still, there was an understanding and he was violating it.   I said nothing.   I just stood there, focusing my anger and disgust his way.   I began inching, ever so slowly toward him, waiting for five-thirty and my chance to boot him.   He left by twenty-five after, robbing me of that opportunity.

In the days after that encounter, I stretched at the treadmill.   And I kept a watch out for the man who had wronged me so.   When I saw him, I would feel a darkness grow inside.   I would focus all that negativity toward him.

One morning I was running and he was on an exercise bike.   I was plodding along, focused on the back of his head, sending my bad vibes his way.   And then, he entered the exercise room.   That's right, as I was staring at him on the exercise bike, he walked into the room.   There were two guys, and while they weren't twins, they were very similar looking and they dressed the same.   Worst of all, I couldn't be certain which one had wronged me.   I wasn't sure what to do.

In the weeks that followed, I made a point of studying these two clones, trying to discern which had unknowingly been so rude to me.   What I learned was that they both seemed like nice enough guys and it was hard to build up any animosity toward either.   Whichever one had used my treadmill had probably just not noticed that it was reserved.   I learned something else as well - focusing all your negative energy on someone while running on a treadmill can be incredibly draining.