Differences

Last night was N's first official baseball game, something that he had been dreading for a couple of weeks now.  Last winter he expressed an interest in trying baseball this year and so we signed him up.  Since then his attitude toward the sport has changed greatly.  He didn't want to go to the first practice, claiming we'd forced him into doing baseball when he never really wanted to.  I told him that we'd already paid for him and that he was going to try it.  He was very indignant about this, accusing me of forcing him to go.  I told him that if he wanted to view it that way, that was fine but he was still going to participate.  The first practice went fine, N had a good time - so good he wanted to sleep in his uniform.

I thought we were over the hump with the whole baseball thing, but as the first game day approached, N was once again troubled.  We talked about it and I learned that he was worried because he was unsure of all the rules of the game.  He was also uncertain as to what he was supposed to do in certain game situations.  This, along with his perception that all the other kids knew exactly what they were doing, made him understandably nervous.  We talked about some of the basics of the game and I assured him that the coaches would be helping a lot.  On game day, I could sense that he was still scared but he was also resigned to the fact that he would have to do it.

The game itself went great.  N had fun.  His league is truly an instructional league - no one was ever really out, they just batted through the order.  He was able to hit the ball as well as those other kids.  On defense, he played in the outfield and second base and there were coaches right out there with him.  In those types of situations, N is like a sponge, soaking up everything the coaches tell him.  I'm sure it's mostly driven by his fear of doing something incorrectly.  Still, by the end of the game, he was covering second base like he'd been doing it for years.

I've had people remark to me that B and N seem so similar.  It's true that they share many traits (intelligent, kind, gentle), but there are parts of their personalities that couldn't be more different.  B is seldom afraid to try something new.  He just assumes he'll be able to do it, and goes with it.  It's one of his traits that I admire most.  On the downside, sometimes this assumption of ability leads to a less than ideal learning attitude.  I mean, why practice or listen if you already know what you're doing? N, on the other hand, is often reluctant to try new things for fear that he will fail or look foolish.  I can tell you right now, he gets this from his father.  Because he's worried about doing something wrong, he listens pretty carefully - a coach's dream.  This difference between the two boys manifests itself in their schoolwork as well.  B has always had messy handwriting - he has his own way of making certain letters rather than following the method taught in class.  The result is something that is barely legible although B does not seem overly concerned about this.  N, on the other hand, follows the rules of letter-making precisely and produces text that looks like it came from the handwriting primer.  You would think with such nice handwriting that journal time would be a favored activity for N.  Instead, he dreads it, unsure of what he should write.  I can't remember a time when B was ever worried about what he was going to write.  So different from his brother.

All of this means that many of the tricks and tips we've learned along the way with B are largely useless or unnecessary with N.  Instead, we're learning new approaches and tactics.  I think the important thing is just recognizing where they are different.