Don't Mess With The Funnies

On Sunday mornings I often get up before the rest of the house.  I like to spend a little time flipping through the Sunday paper while the rest of the family is just waking up.  Usually, by the time the boys are coming down for breakfast, I'm reading the Sunday comics.  I read at the kitchen counter and often they'll sidle up next to me with a bowl of cereal and we'll read together.

A couple of years ago, one of the car dealers in town started running an ad that was a half page attached to the front of the comics section and then folded back over.  I found it to be very irritating, made even more so by the smiling face of the man who ran the dealerships prominently displayed at the top.  Every Sunday I would grumble about this piece of trash that didn't conform to the geometry of the rest of the paper and, worse yet, blocked half of "For Better Or Worse".  I declared defiantly to anyone who happened to be passing through the kitchen that I would never buy a car from that man just because of this offense.  This was a bold statement as the man ran at least a dozen dealerships in town - not a monopoly, but I was severely restricting my automobile options.

I must confess, I wished misfortune for this man and his company.  I hoped that others would follow my lead and shop elsewhere.  I wanted marketing types everywhere to understand that messing with the comics is a very bad idea.  And then, the economic downturn happened and things got tough for auto dealers.  Soon enough the advertising budgets tightened and my comics section was ad-free.  I had gotten my wish but as the rest of the paper filled with stories of layoffs, I felt little joy or satisfaction.  With my paper now in order, I wished for some stability in the market.  Alas, for this particular dealer, the dominoes of misfortune were only beginning to fall.  Within the year, all of the dealerships would close.  The man with the smiling face is being investigated by both state and federal authorities.  His marriage ended, with his wife suing for alimony.  He declared personal bankruptcy, with debts in excess of 700 million dollars.  The troubles go on and on.

Now, I know that I did not cause all these bad things to happen to this man.  No, I prefer to think that this is some sort of divine retribution for messing with the comics.  Take note, you marketing types out there.