Introvert

I am an introvert.  I've known this about myself for quite some time but only recently have I really embraced it.  I've also been called shy and quiet.  In certain situations, I can certainly be those things as well.  At my core, though, you will find an introvert.

I used to be a little ashamed of this characteristic of my personality.  I envied the extroverts I knew, easily mingling at a party, striking up conversations with strangers.  I don't do well at parties with large numbers of people.  Even if I know the people well, the experience usually leaves me feeling completely drained.  I've tried being more of a conversationalist and I've found that I am able to do it pretty well.  It's just so darn tiring - thinking of questions, thinking of answers, listening.  That listening thing is really tough.  I think many people spend more time thinking about what they're going to say next than they do actually listening to what's being said.  I think a lot of "conversations" are just a group of people talking with no one really listening.

One thing I do enjoy about parties is watching my wife work the room.  For her, conversations come easily.  As I feel myself tiring, I can see her looking refreshed - as a couple we demonstrate the law of conservation of energy.  What I lose, she gains.  I like watching my wife because she is a good listener.  She has a natural intuition for knowing where the other person wants or needs the conversation to go.  I'm constantly amazed at the things she knows about people.  Not necessarily sensational things - sometimes just the opposite.  She knows the mundane, the ordinary, the private and personal.  There's a simple reason why people share so much with her - she cares enough to ask.

I used to envy the extroverts, but I don't anymore.  I've noticed my wife fidgeting in a quiet, mostly empty room.  I know that she prefers to not spend time alone.  For her, the telephone was one of the greatest inventions of all time - a way to continue the conversations even when you're apart.  For me, the telephone is that thing in our house that usually won't get answered if she's not home.  I cherish time alone.  At lunch, a group from the office regularly go out together.  They've given up asking me along.  I prefer to spend my lunch time alone.  It recharges me for the afternoon.

So, yes, I am an introvert and perfectly happy with it.  I figured I'd tell you this way - it saves me having to share it in a conversation.