Looking In The Mirror

I was looking at myself in the mirror this morning and I got to thinking about how nice it was to see both eyes staring back at me.  I take it for granted now, but I really should know better.  I had eye surgery a few years ago to correct a problem where one of my eye muscles was pulling too hard.  When looking in certain directions this over-pulling would cause my eyes to mis-align.  When that happened, I would experience double-vision.  Apparently, I've always had this problem but it tends to worsen with age.  In college, I recall seeing double vision if I stayed up too late or had one beer too many.  Over time, I learned to "shut-off" one image and only use the other.  I remember, though, that I could consciously switch between the two if I wanted to.

As I mentioned, this was only a problem when looking certain directions.  If I looked down or to my right periphery, there was no problem.  Looking up and to the left was absolutely the worst.  Looking straight ahead wasn't usually an issue as long as I was looking at something more than twenty feet or so away.  Any closer and I'd see two.  Because looking down worked so well, I gradually and unknowingly began tilting my head back.  It was the only way I could easily see a computer monitor.  I also tilted my head back when I walked, especially if I happened to meet someone to talk to - I'm sure I looked like a bit of a snob.  By the end of the day my neck and shoulders often ached.  It was this pain that finally drove me to seek treatment.

As I looked at the mirror this morning, I was reminded of all the times I looked at myself with only one eye looking back.  I remembered standing there with my head turned such that the mirror was in my right periphery.  Both eyes would be locked in, nicely aligned.  Then, I would slowly turn my face toward the mirror, pausing if I felt an eye drifting.  It took an enormous amount of concentration, but sometimes I could keep them aligned as I faced the mirror.  I would stand there, holding my gaze, unable to move or look away.  As soon as I relaxed, the eyes would separate. 

I had learned a few tricks and techniques for coping with the problem.  For most of the day, I could largely ignore that there was an issue at all.  The big exception was the mirror.  Every morning I was reminded that something was amiss.  I could try to compensate, but it's really difficult to brush your teeth with your head tilted back - I know this from experience.

So, as I lingered at the mirror this morning it wasn't vanity.  I was just taking a moment to appreciate that handsome guy looking directly back at me (okay, maybe there was a little vanity involved).