Fairness

Fairness and equality are of utmost importance to our boys.  At least, this is true if one of them feels his sibling has gotten better treatment from me or my wife.  Their demand for fairness and equality is inconsistent, since they never seem to complain when the scales are tipped in their favor.  Of course, the slighted brother is likely already voicing an objection anyway.  It doesn't matter if it's the size of a slice of cake, the number of minutes of computer time, anything and everything is fair game.  Being the youngest, N particularly is always watching for instances where B is granted something extra.  He has had to learn that with age comes added privileges.  B is allowed to do some things that N is not.  This has been a hard lesson at times.  In N's mind, they are equals and should be treated as such.  We've tried to point out that age also brings added responsibilities, but N still feels wronged.

I think this imbalance has caused N to be all the more vigilant about things that he feels should be equal.  We were having cake for dinner one night and he felt that B had been given a larger slice.  It's true that B's piece was maybe a little bigger, but not by much.  Still, N went on and on about how unfair it was.  I told him life wasn't always fair and that maybe next time his would be the bigger piece.  He ate the cake grudgingly, all the while staring at his brother across the table.  B, for his part, enjoyed every last savory morsel of his slice, commenting about how full the large slice had made him feel.

Last night, I was poking around on YouTube and found a clip I knew the boys would enjoy.  B was in the other room doing homework, so I showed the clip to N.  As expected, he enjoyed it.  After he watched it, he went upstairs to get ready for bed.  B eventually emerged from his homework.  He looked tired and a little down.  I decided to share the video with him as well, to try to lift his spirits.  He enjoyed it as well.  We talked for awhile, his spirits improved.  I came across another clip and we watched that one as well.  We talked some more and then he went up to bed.

I was just getting dressed this morning when I heard someone in the kitchen.  N usually joins me each morning, but this was forty-five minutes earlier than his normal time.  Still, I entered the kitchen and found him, wrapped in a blanket, sitting on a stool.  I could see that he was sleepy, he could barely open his eyes.

"Good morning," I said.

"You showed B two videos but you only showed me one," he replied.