Rod, again - Chapter 5, The drive

Rod shuffled into his apartment and collapsed on the couch. Now that he was away from the awful smell of frybread his mind was clearing. He replayed the previous few minutes in his head and tried to figure out how things had gotten so messed up. Cindy was upset, that much was certain. By now, she had probably finished telling her folks what a creep he was. Still, he couldn’t see what he’d done wrong. It was Cindy who jumped to the wrong conclusion. He hadn’t kept anything of any importance from her. He was in the right, he was sure of it.

Rod sat and wondered what would happen next. Ever since he’d started dating Cindy it had seemed too good to be true. He spent the first couple weeks of their relationship certain she would dump him at any moment. Gradually, he’d become more secure, confident even. Now, here he was, right where he feared he’d be. He contemplated staying on the couch, sulking for awhile and then getting on with his life. He began running through the changes he would need to make. His camera was at Cindy’s place - he’d need to get that back. And most of the food in his cupboard was stuff she liked more than he did. She could have it. And the apartment; he’d need to find a new place - that would be a pain. Rod felt an intense sadness overtaking him as he made his mental list. He kept telling himself it was over, that she had probably been looking for an excuse to break up. But he wasn’t convinced. Rod allowed himself to consider the possibility that Cindy did really care for him. It seemed like she did, or had anyway. She was nothing if not sincere. Fighting his instinct to assume the worst, Rod decided he would not accept that the relationship was over without at least trying to explain things to Cindy. He was nervous and scared but he kept reminding himself that he had nothing to lose at this point. Rod took a deep breath and headed to the bathroom. He would talk to Cindy, but first he needed to rinse out his mouth and brush his teeth.

Cindy sat on her bed, holding the phone. Her first impulse upon entering her apartment had been to call her mother. After getting her parent’s answering machine, Cindy recalled her mother mentioning an upcoming meeting of the Society to Prevent Cruelty to Squirrels. Her mother was a board member. Cindy left a quick message asking her to call back as soon as possible. As Cindy sat on the bed willing her phone to ring, she felt her anger subsiding, being replaced by sadness.

Cindy heard the sink in Rod’s apartment. He’s in there, she thought. She wanted to run to his apartment and scream at him for ruining everything. Anger began to push out the sadness. She didn’t like either feeling. The water stopped running and she tried to imagine what he was doing. Suddenly, it occurred to her that that woman might be in there with him. The thought made her sick. She found herself straining to hear what Rod was doing. She hated that she cared, but she couldn’t help it. It was quiet so she moved closer to the wall, breathing as lightly as possible. Listening...so quiet, what is he doing? Suddenly, someone knocked on her door. It startled her so much that she let out a little “Eep!” before realizing what it was. She hurried to the door and peered into the peephole. It was Rod.

Cindy tentatively opened the door just enough to see Rod. She looked at him but said nothing. Rod looked pale, a little shaken. Cindy wondered if he was feeling guilty about his little secret or if he was truly not feeling well. She waited for Rod to speak; he appeared to be trying to figure out what to say. After a few more moments of silence, she finally couldn’t stand it. “Did you have something to say, Rod?”

“Cindy,” Rod began slowly, “I know you’re upset with me, I know you’re angry. But, I promise you, I can explain everything. Everything.”

“Rod, I’m not interested in whatever story you’ve come up with. You should have told me about Nina, plain and simple.”

Rod took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He looked directly at Cindy and tried to remain calm. “Cindy, please. I’m not asking you to listen to a story, just take a ride with me. One short car ride and you’ll see that I didn’t hide anything from you and that I’d never met that woman before.”

Cindy frowned; Rod’s statement was a bit difficult to believe. “And if I don’t see it?”

“Then, I’ll leave you alone, if that’s what you want. I’ll find a new place and get out of your life. But I really hope that doesn’t happen.”

Cindy bit her lip. She didn’t know what sort of ride Rod thought would fix everything. His car was nice but not that nice. Still, she wanted to believe there was a chance he could make things right.
“Okay,” she whispered, “Whatever. Let’s go then.”

Rod drove Cindy to a part of town that was unfamiliar to her. He did not speak to her while they rode. This surprised Cindy. She assumed he wanted her in the car so she would be a captive audience while he tried to explain things. She had accepted the ride because she was mildly curious to see how he would explain away Nina. Instead, he said nothing. She looked over at him but he seemed focused. He was leaning forward, obviously anxious to get to their destination. Cindy had worried that he was taking her too see that woman, but Rod had assured her that they would not leave the car and that she would not be asked to speak to anyone. As he turned onto a side road, Rod relaxed a bit and sat back in his seat. After going about a half-mile, Rod slowed the car and pulled over to the side of the road. He stopped the car and looked at Cindy.

“Look around”, Rod said.

Cindy looked around. There was nothing about the area that stood out. A gas station and car wash, a couple of fast food chains, a couple of local food stands. It was all very common. Cindy looked back at Rod and then followed his gaze. He was staring at a dingy drive-up across the street. Cindy looked more closely at the place. Finally, her eyes rested on the sign above the building, “Nina’s Original Frybread” it read. Cindy noticed the dark-haired girl in the sign, the feather earrings. “Nina?”, she said at last.

“I guess so, maybe at one time,” said Rod. “I used to get food from here all the time. Remember, I said I ate a lot of unhealthy stuff. I never met her though. I always ordered from some guy - I think his name was Rick, or something like that. I didn’t even know there was an actual Nina until today.”

Cindy replayed the events from earlier, outside the apartment. “So, her ‘treats’ were frybread?”

Rod nodded. “I used to eat it all the time. Now I can’t even stand the smell of it. She tried to give me some outside the apartment, but it made me vomit. I was feeling so nauseous when you were talking to me that I couldn't respond. I could barely breathe.”

Cindy considered the events of the afternoon. Rod’s explanation was more in character with the man she knew. She wondered how she’d ever jumped to such wild conclusions. The thought of Rod with Nina seemed ridiculous to her now, although she still thought Nina looked like a cheap hooker. Cindy realized that Rod had done nothing wrong and yet he hadn’t acted angry toward her. He was a special man and she had treated him badly.

“Rod,” Cindy said, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I can’t believe I thought that you and she were...well, I’m sorry. You must hate me.”

Cindy felt a tear trickle down her cheek but she made no attempt to dry her face. Her nose felt runny and she sniffed a couple of times but she fought the urge to cry by biting the inside of her lip. She had used this technique in the past and was aware it only worked for a little while. Rod looked directly at her as she spoke, but she couldn’t read his feelings. He didn’t look angry or sad or happy or glum. If anything, he looked a bit nervous.

Cindy finished speaking and Rod reached over and took her hand. He looked down, cleared his throat and took a deep breath. “I don’t hate you, Cindy.” he whispered. “When I was in my apartment I realized how much I need you, love you.”

Cindy bit down harder on her lip, but a few sobs slipped out anyway. “Oh, Rod. I love you, too.” The last words were barely a whisper as she stifled a sob.

Rod looked up at Cindy. “Will you marry me?” he asked, suddenly.

Cindy’s eyes widened. The question caught her off guard. They’d never discussed marriage before although Cindy had thought about it from time to time. Now, as she looked at Rod, she realized it was what she wanted as well. “Yes.” Cindy replied, smiling.

Rod leaned toward Cindy, lips puckered.

“Oh sweetie,” sighed Cindy, “I’d love to kiss you but my lip is really really sore.”