Rod, again - Chapter 24, Closure

When Cindy returned to check on Rod before the wedding, she found him sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. It was evident that something was bothering him. He did not look up when she entered the room.

“Hey Rod, it’s almost time....Rod, honey, are you okay?” Cindy rushed over and sat next to him, taking his hands in hers.

Rod looked at Cindy. “Something doesn’t feel right.” he said.

“What do you mean, Rod? What doesn’t feel right?”

“I don’t know,” Rod said as he stood and tried to loosen the collar on his shirt. “I don’t feel right, that’s all.”

“It’s these silly clothesl.” Cindy declared. “I know they’re not really our style, but it’s just for one day.”

Rod nodded meekly and stared out the window. “Lots of folks out there.” he mused.

Cindy followed his gaze. “Hang on, Rod. I think I know someone who can help you. Stay here, I’ll be right back.”

Cindy hurried out of the room and Rod stepped closer to the window. As he watched the crowd, he noticed Cindy’s friend, Sissy, walk up and say something to Debbie. Debbie stood and the two women walked toward the apartment. Rod was still staring at Debbie’s empty chair when the door opened and Cindy and Debbie walked in.

“Here he is Debbie.” said Cindy. “He says the clothes make him uncomfortable. I figured you’re the clothing expert, so maybe you could help him out.”

Rod stared blankly, first at Cindy, then at Debbie. Before he could speak, Cindy excused herself and left him alone with Debbie.

“You look, great, Rod.” Debbie began. “What’s troubling you? Is it the jacket or the pants?”

Rod shrugged. “It’s fine. The clothes are fine. You shouldn’t have come. Cindy misunderstood.”

Debbie nodded and gave Rod a pained smiled. “What’s really the matter, Rod?”

Rod sighed and collapsed onto the couch. “I don’t know. I thought I was ready, but then I saw you and Rico out there. I mean, you’re beautiful and smart and I guess I realized what a fool I was to leave you way back when. It hit me that if I hadn’t left, we might be hitched by now.”

Debbie sat down next to Rod and put her hand on his shoulder. “Oh Rod, I think you’ve just got some pre-wedding jitters. You can’t project what might have been based on how we are now. We were different people back then and if we’d stayed together, it’s unlikely we’d have turned out anything like we are now. I got my first break in the fashion industry because of someone I met on the bus. If you remember, you used to drive me to work. If you hadn’t left, I would have never been on the bus. And you, what are the chances you would have had your, your...transformation back in Minnesota?”

Rod nodded. “Still, we had some pretty good times and I left for no good reason.”

“You had your reasons, Rod” Debbie said, quietly.

“No. I was happy. You were happy. I just drove away.” Rod whispered.

“Rod, you left because you didn’t love me.” Debbie confided.

“Debbie, that’s not...” Rod began.

“No, it’s okay.” Debbie interrupted. “Rod, I’ve spent more time than I care to admit trying to understand why you left me. I thought we were in love. I thought things were good. But we weren’t in love, I can see that now.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because I’ve seen you with Cindy. You two have something more than we had. You love her, Rod, everyone can see that.”

Rod blushed and looked back at the window. “I just don’t want to make a mistake.”

“Then don’t.” Debbie remarked, curtly. “Marry her already. Now, I’m going back to my seat.”

Rod smiled. “Thanks Debbie. Please don’t tell Cindy this wasn’t a clothes issue. I don’t want to make her feel bad.”

Debbie nodded and opened the door to leave just as Cindy arrived. “So,” Cindy said, hopefully. “Are you feeling better?”

“Much better.” Rod responded. “I’m ready when you are.”

“Great! I’ll meet you at the altar.” Cindy exclaimed as she and Debbie left the room.

As Debbie turned toward courtyard entrance, Cindy touched her shoulder. “Thank you.” Cindy said, knowingly. “He needed to see you. I knew you could help him.”

Debbie looked at her. “So, you knew this wasn’t about clothes?”

Cindy smiled. “Yeah, but don’t tell Rod. I don’t want him to feel bad.”

“I thought you didn’t like secrets.” Debbie remarked.

“I don’t.” Cindy replied. “Which is why, in twenty or thirty years, I promise to tell Rod that I knew that his discomfort before our wedding was not a clothing issue. Fair enough?”

“Fair enough.” Debbie agreed. “Now, I’m going back to my Rico, er, seat.”