Stress

I went through a bit of a panic attack about a week ago. I have some impending deadlines at work and I started stressing because I couldn't see how I could possibly make them. Part of the problem was that the goal was still not fully defined. I found myself in a situation where I needed to have something completed by the end of the month but the something was still largely unknown. Since I couldn't actually work on the problem itself, I put all my energy into the one thing I could do: worry. I worried both day and night but the nights were definitely worse. I averaged a couple of hours of fitful sleep before waking and wondering how the upcoming days would play out. I developed a knot in the middle of my back that slowly crept up my neck, bringing a dull, throbbing headache. I was preoccupied and irritable. To their credit, my family understood my predicament and did not complain.

Last Friday, the fog thinned a little and the unknown became just a little more known. I was grateful for this glimpse for it gave me something worthwhile to focus my energy on. I worked late on Friday, processing every bit of the information I'd been given. Over the weekend, the knot loosened and the headache subsided.

Yesterday, more plans were solidified. Today, I got what I think is enough information to finish the task. The amount of work is mind-boggling. It will take a heroic effort and a lot of luck to make my deadline. Still, I don't feel nearly as awful as I did last week because now I know what I am facing and what I need to do.

I've always felt that the best scary movies are the ones that hide the monster from you. Nothing is quite as frightening as the unknown. Our imaginations are incredibly skilled at conjuring up demons beyond anything Hollywood's created. Once the lights are turned on and the creature is revealed we can begin to formulate a way to beat it.