Ew!

My wife's mother fell recently and required a visit to the hospital and some time in the transitional care wing of a nearby nursing home. The boys and I were killing time one afternoon in her room at the nursing home while she was away at dinner. My oldest son, B, had his iPod Touch with him and was soon lost in his own virtual world. My younger son, N, didn't bring a distraction so I gave him the TV remote and suggested he find some entertainment. He checked the channel list and was disappointed to find that Disney was not among the options. I noted that, while he may feel this was a huge injustice, most of the residents probably weren't big "Dog with a Blog" watchers. 

After flipping around the channels a couple of times, N finally settled on a show called Taboo. The show apparently featured segments on people doing things that were generally considered taboo. We caught the beginning of a piece on Yogi Zen, a guy who claims that the secret to agelessness is drinking your urine. N was spellbound. 

We watched as Yogi explained that he washed his hair with urine. We watched him rub his urine all over his upper body. Finally, we watched him lift a crystal goblet of pee and take a long drink. Occasionally, N would look over at me with wide eyes to see if I was watching and if I found this as bizarre as he did. Mostly, N stared at the screen with his mouth slightly open and his nose scrunched up. 

Evidently, Yogi has some students or followers who come to him for instruction on meditation and such. Most of them hadn't progressed to urine-sipping yet, but one fellow did finally try a bit (with a squeeze of lemon) and proclaimed it delicious. N wiggled in his chair and laughed to himself. 

Yogi explained that he had changed his diet to get the best flavor for his urine. Asparagus, I thought. Some how asparagus is going to be involved. You either avoid it completely or eat nothing else. Yogi didn't go into specifics. 

Yogi has a girlfriend. When she showed up, Yogi offered her a sip from his cup of urine. She complied. N still watched in amazement. Yogi explained that sharing your urine was an ultimate act of love. N squirmed a little. Then Yogi and his girlfriend kissed. At that point, N let out a "Ew!" and changed the channel. 

And that's how the mind of an eleven year old boy works: Drinking urine is gross but interesting. Kissing is just gross.