I wasn't kissing. I was sucking.

Costco sells a snack I love called "Peanut Butter Filled Pretzel Nuggets". I love these things but I know they can't be good for me. They're far too tasty to be healthy. I try to limit how many I eat at any one time but it's difficult. As any Costco shopper knows, there is only one size at the store: large. I estimate the peanut butter pretzel jar holds roughly 500 nuggets. It's so easy to just reach in and grab a handful. Or two.

In an effort to limit my snacking, I've taken to trying to savor each individual nugget. I reason that the longer it takes me to finish one of these guys, the fewer I'll be able to eat overall. It's a reasonable strategy and I've had some success with it. Each nugget consists of a salty hard pretzel exterior with a soft peanut butter like substance inside. Sometimes, I like to pop one in my mouth and suck on it until the salt is gone and the shell softens up such that I can crush it with my tongue against the roof of my mouth. This takes awhile and if you rush the process, you'll rip up your palate so it's pretty effective at limiting the rate of consumption.

A few days ago, I was rushing out of the house to pick up my oldest son from school. As I grabbed my coat, I passed by the pretzel nugget jar and instinctively grabbed a handful. I was just a couple of blocks from the house when I popped the first one into my mouth. Now, as I was driving, I happened to notice something out of the corner of my eye - movement in someone's yard. I turned to look and, sure enough, a man was out mowing his yard. Unfortunately, at the same moment I made eye contact with him, I absenting sucked on the pretzel nugget in an attempt to crush it. To anyone who didn't know about the nugget (basically everyone but me) I'm pretty sure it looked like I caught this fellow's eye and blew him a kiss. He gave me a sheepish wave, keeping his hands on the mower handle.

It all happened so quickly. I was down the street before I fully realized how my nugget sucking may have looked. Feeling slightly embarrassed, I considered what my next course of action should be. I came up with four possibilities:

1. Stop at his house, explain the whole pretzel sucking thing and assure him that I was not blowing him a kiss. This could get weird if it turns out he couldn't see me clearly or he didn't think I was puckering at him in the first place.
2. Begin randomly blowing kisses whenever I am out and about in the neighborhood. Become known as the guy with the awkward muscle tic that looks like I'm blowing kisses.
3. Avoid that particular street for the foreseeable future.
4. Act like nothing happened. If I happen to run into the guy and he mentions the whole "air kiss" episode, explain the pretzel nuggets and the sucking. Maybe offer to share some with him so he can appreciate the process.

For now, I'm rolling with number 4 with a little bit of number 3 thrown in there for good measure.