I love Costco. Luckily for me, the nearest one is just far enough away that I don't go there too frequently. This is a good thing, because I have never left there without at least a couple of hundred dollars worth of 'deals'. I mean, it's hard to resist a reasonably priced pallet of toilet paper. It's not like we're going to wake up some day and decide we don't need it anymore (at least, I hope that doesn't happen). Same thing goes for soap and paper towels. The only good reason not to buy it is if you physically don't have the storage space.
Food is a different story. You need to really understand shelf life, freezer space, family consumption rates, and other metrics before buying at Costco levels. We've had some hits and some misses in this category but for the most part we now know what we like and what we can manage. Buying food at Costco before a party is almost joyful - finally, I'm shopping for a family of 20, as Costco intended. No need to fear bulk.
Early this summer, my wife and I were shopping at Costco. We were getting ready to check out when I remembered that I was almost out of deodorant. I made a quick dash to get new supplies. My normal brand has a 'Fresh' scent which is fairly mild and smells a little like soap to me. I've purchased it at Costco before but, sadly, it was not option on that day.
My choices were meager. There were a few overly floral options whose packaging indicated they were clearly intended for 'ladies'. They had no gender-neutral products, which is what I would have preferred. Instead, I found myself staring at a handful of manly sweat-blockers. After sniffing a couple, my smell receptors were so overcome with musk that I couldn't fully discern any difference. I did my best to narrow my selection down to two that I thought had the mildest scent. I presented them to my wife to let her decide how I should smell for the summer. She deemed them to be equally offensive but left it up to me. I should have left them both behind. I should have stopped at Target and picked up my usual brand. I should have, but I was at Costco. The two products smelled similar and were priced similar but one came as a 5-pack and the other as a 6-pack. I spotted the deal and went with the 6-pack.
From the very start, I didn't like the way I smelled. It turns out the little scratch-n-sniff spot on the product package was quite a bit milder than the real deal. It wasn't that the odor was offensive, it just wasn't me. More importantly, it wasn't how I wanted to be perceived. And I had 6 containers of the stuff.
It didn't take long before my closet started reeking of my new-found spiciness. I learned to hold my breath when pulling on a T-shirt to avoid getting a sniff of the new me. Even the washing machine couldn't fully erase it. In public, I was aware of how I smelled. I took some comfort in this but feared the day would come when I would no longer notice, when I finally embraced the stench. I was still on container #1.
Then one day I was wandering through the grocery store, picking up a few essentials for dinner that night. On a whim (whoohoo!), I ventured into the deodorant aisle and found my old brand. They were having a sale on 2-packs, a face-saving gesture of mercy if I could just accept that the 6-pack was a mistake - a foolish choice made under the influence of Costco. I could. I felt a certain giddiness as I put the 2-pack in my cart. I can honestly say I have never been so excited about buying deodorant.
It's been a few weeks now and my clothes have finally lost the last traces of the other me. I still have 5 unopened containers of the stuff in a drawer at home. They're perfectly fine, and I'm sure they'd be great for the right person. Someday I'll get around to donating them and hopefully they'll wind up in the pits of someone who can appreciate them.
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