The building where I work has a little break room with a few vending machines, including one for coffee. When no one is actually buying a drink, the little display on the coffee machine scrolls the following message: “The Best Coffee in the World”. Could I really be so lucky as to have the world’s best coffee so near by? No, it turns out, I’m not that lucky. I tried the “coffee” from the machine and it is not the world’s best. It is hot and it is a liquid. The similarities to coffee end there. Even though I chose the strongest option, the color was a sort of translucent light brown. It had no real odor or flavor and yet somehow managed to produce an aftertaste. I don’t know if it contained any caffeine or not but evidently there’s something in it that gives me a headache.
The machine offers a couple of free “complements” that you can add to your drink. They are labeled “Sugar” and “Whitener”. It’s curious that a machine that was so cavalier with the truth regarding its coffee is painfully honest about the “whitener”. No claims that this stuff will affect the flavor in any way. All it’s going to do is make the color whiter.
The machine also dispenses hot chocolate, vanilla latte and something called “Butterfinger”. As you can well imagine, I was intrigued by that last one and had to try it. It was very much like drinking a Butterfinger candy bar. I’m not sure who decided that the Butterfinger was a good candidate for a hot beverage flavor, but it wasn’t too bad. The orange foam was a tad unsettling, however.
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