So, what's your kitty's name?

Sunday morning I found myself inspecting a pair of jeans, trying to determine if they were clean enough to be acceptable for church.  As I slipped them on, it occurred to me that I should really focus my efforts on the backside.  This wasn't because I suddenly remembered having sat in something, nor was I just looking for an excuse to look at my bahooney.  No, I needed to check "back there" because church is one of the few places where people spend significant time staring at one another's backs and behinds.

If we were just sitting there, it wouldn't be much different than being at a concert or a play.  But in our service, we're standing much of the time.  And I know, when I'm standing, someone is staring at me, analyzing what I've got on and how it fits.  I know it happens because I do it myself.  It's so easy to stare at someone when they're not looking back at you.  I once counted seven cat hairs on the back of a woman sitting in front of me.  It was no easy feat, counting those hairs - the sweater she was wearing was similar in color to the cat she apparently lived with.  She could have had a hundred cat hairs on the front and I would not have known it.  After all, that would have required staring at her front, which would have been impolite.  But her back...well, it was hard not to stare at.  It was positioned directly in front of me, just  a couple of feet away.  I tried to just sit there, listening to the sermon...but then I noticed the first hair.  I stared at it for awhile, trying to decide what mammal it came from.  Part of me was still listening to the sermon but the hair debate was clamoring for attention.  I succumbed and an analysis was soon underway.  Color, length, coarseness all were considered.  Feline seemed the likely source.  Ah...now I could return my attention to the sermon.  But wait, was that another one?  How many could I find?  The search was on.  I found five on her shoulders and, when we stood for prayers, I noticed two more on her lower back.  This happened a couple of years ago, but I still recall it.  I have no idea what the sermon was about.

So, after I dressed, I twisted at the mirror and tried my best to shore up my back side.  I'm sure I've gone to church with plenty of cat hair stuck to me.  Hopefully, the person behind me was not so easily distracted.